Undead and Unemployed by MaryJanice Davidson

She isn’t dumb but she isn’t the brightest crayon in the box either. She’s tall and blonde, an ex-model turned administrative assistant who loves expensive shoes. She is told that she is the foretold Vampire Queen which she thinks is just ludicrous but as she gets more and more into the vampire world, it gets harder and harder to deny. Then she abducted by some lunatic vampire who wants her to kneel and become his subject and when he isn’t able to control her he seems perplexed. That is what probably made her turn into a vampire when she died. Six months before her death, she was attacked by something resembling humans who bit her and then ran off. Finally, she figured out that she was a vampire which was way better than a zombie in her book but not much. She figured her step-mom was responsible for her awful wardrobe She figured she was probably a zombie or something awful like that so she tried to kill herself in many fun and amusing ways that didn’t work.

She woke up in an ugly cheap pink suit and cheap shoes. She went to go get her cat out of the middle of the road, was hit by a car and died. When she got home, a freak snow storm hit.

When she got to work, she and all the other administrative personnel were laid off. Her bus was late and then she sat on gum.

It’s hilarious!īetsy was not having a good day. I belly-laughed until I peed my pants many times throughout this book. After reading a series that was mostly devoid of humor and way too serious, I went searching for something lighthearted and cheesy and I found it.

Undead and Unemployed by MaryJanice Davidson